Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
