Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
