Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
