That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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