I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
