I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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