As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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