You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
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It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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