4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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