It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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