Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
