be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
