Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize