Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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