My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
