Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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