she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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