you guys were way drunker than both of me
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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