wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Boobs speak an international language.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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