I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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