WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
