Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
