He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
