Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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