KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
