these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
