I don't remember. Are we still dating?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
