I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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