I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
