okay pat passed out under dana's car
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
