took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
