Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
