was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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