I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
