I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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