The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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