Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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