but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
