Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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