my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
