i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
