He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
