This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
