That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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