I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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