He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
