also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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