Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
