did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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