I hate your face
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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