make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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