But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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