So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
sex in a hospital.. check
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
