I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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