Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  Oh.My.God.

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  (405): So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid (1-405): Oh.My.God. http://tfl.nu/b4yo
  Replies (32) Good night (820) Bad night (3894)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this

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  (781): walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this http://tfl.nu/8ri1
  Replies (29) Good night (6590) Bad night (748)
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  (818): View more from California

  apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"

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  (818): apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today" http://tfl.nu/nsmf
  Replies (20) Good night (6628) Bad night (2507)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...

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  (781): I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing... http://tfl.nu/jqiv
  Replies (6) Good night (2556) Bad night (1165)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.

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  (507): i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined. http://tfl.nu/05lw
  Replies (5) Good night (2682) Bad night (1096)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon

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  (201): PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon http://tfl.nu/nm2q
  Replies (14) Good night (4726) Bad night (1465)
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  (631): View more from New York

  his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores

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  (631): his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores http://tfl.nu/t2gu
  Replies (6) Good night (2274) Bad night (1549)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.

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  (701): Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring. http://tfl.nu/lp7n
  Replies (4) Good night (2225) Bad night (818)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?

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  (503): So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt? http://tfl.nu/w4he
  Replies (15) Good night (3311) Bad night (688)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  so you are graduating this semester.

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  (484): my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete. (215): so you are graduating this semester. http://tfl.nu/j7mj
  Replies (3) Good night (1408) Bad night (565)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.

  (712): View more from Iowa

  What's an angry pirate?

  (702): View more from Nevada

  You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.

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  (702): I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again. (712): What's an angry pirate? (702): You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever. http://tfl.nu/pzvl
  Replies (32) Good night (1250) Bad night (1711)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Pathetic yet considerate

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  (954): Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up. (1-954): Pathetic yet considerate http://tfl.nu/ng7i
  Replies (2) Good night (713) Bad night (290)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out

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  (716): I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out http://tfl.nu/6y6k
  Replies (0) Good night (395) Bad night (236)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete

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  (970): This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete http://tfl.nu/utyk
  Replies (4) Good night (297) Bad night (606)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.

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  (207): If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too. http://tfl.nu/gosa
  Replies (0) Good night (408) Bad night (725)

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