he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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