hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
