I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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