...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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