He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
