5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
